Love Is Like War
by LJLL
Summary: Love is like war; easy to begin, but very hard to stop. And Sirius fancies stopping both. Jily. Seventh year and on. Multi-chapter.


"So then Prongs here thinks it's a brilliant idea to charm Ol' Sluggy's hat to sing whatever he says—"

"In a ridiculously high-pitched voice!" finishes Peter with a grin, as he and Sirius begin imitating the tone at which Slughorn's hat presumably sung.

There's a predictable uproar of laughter; Mary and Emme are pink in the face, Remus is shaking his head, and Lily is all but guffawing, looking very hard like she's trying to maintain her Head Girl dignity and not start snorting right there in the common room.

Sirius laughs himself, then punches James in the arm. "Don't be so modest, Prongs!"

James throws Sirius a smile, unable to stop his eyes from wandering to Lily. He takes a moment to notice the pleasant flush on her cheeks, the way the corners of her mouth seem to lift especially high as Remus says something witty and everyone bursts into laughter again. James merely nods. "It is one of my most proud moments."

Mary rolls her eyes and Emme merely smiles, but again James can feel his eyes wandering to Lily; to his surprise, they catch her emerald green eyes, and the smile she's directing in his general direction interrupts his once-steady heartbeat. James distantly feels Sirius' arm grip his shoulders, and the contact bolts him out of his trance. He takes a deep breath. _You're friends now. It's enough._

"You _know _he hates being mimicked," Mary reprimands him lightly, still laughing.

James just shrugs, returning her grin with a merry one of his own. "It was back in fourth year," he says, downplaying the brilliance with which his prank was executed.

Sirius groans, removing his arm from James' shoulders. "A week into the school year, and this git is _still _on this whole 'Head Boy' fix."

The genuine annoyance in his best mate's tone makes James frown. "It's not a fix, Sirius, I told you—"

"Dumbledore has certain expectations," repeats Sirius in a bored voice, an air of repitition in his words, "I know, Prongs, I know."

James heaves a sigh. "What sort of Head Boy pulls pranks and disobeys his teachers and gets ten detentions a month?"

"The fun kind," snaps Sirius, who looks so genuinely upset by this point that even Remus and Peter, used to his recent mood swings, look anxious. "I swear, Prongs, ever since you got that bloody letter—"

"I don't want to hear it, Sirius!" James stands suddenly, tension thick in the air, glowering at Sirius behind rectangular glasses.

Not to be outdone, Sirius stands as well. Although once inch taller than the Quidditch Captain, Sirius seems to fancy himself two feet taller. "You've changed, James."

The three words sting, visibly, and James recoils. He still looks angry, however, and looks ready to retort, when the heated response dies on his lips. With a stiff shrug of his shoulders, James nods. "You're right. I have. And you haven't since you were twelve." James turns on his heel, and he's out of the common room before any of them know what really happened.

"What?" asks Lily weakly, any and all former sounds of jubilance absent from her face. "Black, what?"

"Shut up, Evans," he snaps, turning his glare on her.

Remus shoots a disapproving look to Sirius. "What was that about, Padfoot?" The gray glare apparently has room for Remus, too, because in the next second Remus is doing everything he can not to sink back down under Sirius' impressive anger.

"He's like you now," he begins, snarling, "you were always sort of boring, Moony, but I expect more from James. He used to be fun."

Emme stands up, blushing, "Sirius, that's not fair—" but the word die on her tongue.

Sirius opens his mouth, but it's he who's cut off this time.

"Don't you start on her!" Lily's voice is sharp, the kind of tone all four Marauders were accustomed to hearing a year ago. There's a moment where the mutual anger of everyone in the room is so powerful it's palpable, then Sirius is gone as well, storming off up the boy's staircase. Lily glances around at everyone, her own rage not done its course through her system, and suddenly bounds out of the room as well. Her feet carry her not up the girl's staircase, but out the portrait hole. A little way out from Gryffindor common room, she finds James, on his bum against a wall, muttering to himself, hands lost in his mass of messy hair.

"How the hell could he do that? And in front of everyone… He's such a git…"

Lily clears her throat.

James looks up, blinking. "Oh, Lily, hi." He tries to smile, but the impulse doesn't quite make it to his mouth. The two lock eyes for a moment, then James sighs. "I don't get why he's so angry."

There's a beat during which James wonders if he's just made a huge mistake by opening up to Lily Evans, of all people, before she sits down across from him, chin dipping in a nod.

Encouraged to continue, James does. "I mean, we both know I shouldn't have been Head Boy. We were sure the badge was Remus', sure Dumbledore had put it in the wrong package – we thought about writing him but decided against it, he's much too busy, we shouldn't bother him unless we've got to – that was the moment Sirius said he knew the badge was meant for me." He pauses, gauging Lily's reaction, then continues. "And I've tried to be good at it, I know it's only been a week, but it's harder for me than it is for Remus, obeying the rules, not questioning authority, and I'm such a hypocrite, doing this when I used to be just like the kids we catch on patrol—" He stops suddenly, and Lily is taken visibly by surprise, and looks up at her. "You think I'm an alright Head Boy, don't you?"

Lily nods quickly. "I really do, James." She swallows, apparently unsure what to say.

This time he does smile, but he can't make himself say anything else. _Lily actually cares about you, Jamesy, look at that. She's sitting across from you, smiling and nod at you, trying to make you feel better. She's trying to comfort you. Don't blow it._

She takes a deep breath. "I think… Sirius needs time to adjust."

James nods, hazel eyes locking on hers.

Lily continues, meeting his gaze, to James' immense pleasure. He can feel his heart jump in his throat when she says his name. "James, he's your best mate. And even if this change in you has been gradual, I would bet Sirius doesn't see it that way. To him, you probably woke up one day, and suddenly… you were datable." There's a light blush coating Lily's cheeks now, but James can't make himself believe it, and convinces himself it's the light reflecting from the window not-actually-there on her dark red hair. "Think about it, sure, you were shaggable before," her cheeks enflame now, "but now you're actually datable, and he's scared he'll lose you. And he should be!" Lily laughs manically, then catches herself, folding her hands in her lap primly. "You'll be snatched up quickly enough by the next bird that catches your eye!"

Lily laughs like that again, then appears to shut herself up. James blinks, and he's pretty sure his heart is racing a mile a minute, and he's pretty sure he's blushing too, and he can't take his eyes off Lily for even a moment ever again, because _Godric, she's beautiful._ And he's seized with an overwhelming urge to make her blush every day for the next 40 years, until he gets tired of seeing her like this. Until he gets tired of seeing Lily so vulnerable, like she actually trusts him. Until the things he says, going into detail about how beautiful she is, until those words leaving his tongue make her blush. _And every one of them will be true, and I'll make her believe them, too, because I love her so much, and she deserves to be loved, every day for the rest of her life. And… She doesn't like me like that. She's just being nice._

Abruptly, the train his thoughts had taken ran off a cliff, and he blinked, running a hand through his hair, and smiled at her. "Thank you, Lily."

He'd been about to stand up and offer her his hand (a gentleman offers his lady a hand, and his mum would kill him if she knew he weren't being a gentleman, especially to Lily), but Lily isn't smiling back at him. For a moment, he frets that he said all that aloud, but when she doesn't start yelling at him, he concludes that can't be it.

"Lily?" He tries again, leaning forward concernedly.

Then Lily's also leaning forward, and he swears his heart jumps into his throat.

"James," she says, and he thinks he can die happy if he hears her say his name _that way_ ever again, and _Merlin's Toenails, is she pursing her lips?_

"Lily," he says again, trying valiantly to be chivalrous.

"James," and _Fucking Godric _she said it that way again.

James is sure he's going to die, especially judging by the rapid palpitations of his heart, and then he and Lily aren't ever going to kiss, and he's going to curse himself for dying without ever knowing the feeling of Lily's lips against his.

But he doesn't die, miraculously, and he's sure Merlin himself is doing everything he can to delay James' death until after he kisses Lily, and he thinks he's gonna be okay, he thinks he can do this, and Lily tilts her head. He tilts his head the opposite way, and there's only a few _milimetres _left between them, and it's really going to happen, he's really going to kiss Lily Evans.

Her eyes slip shut, and his do the same.

Then, from the corridor over, Mary's voice rings out. "Sirius Black, you great idiot! Just talk to him!"

His eyes snap back open, but Lily's are slower to. Neither of them move, and James' heart is still in his throat. Finally, Lily moves, but it's her neck, and then her lips are brushing gently against his, and James swears he's died. He figures he can spare a moment to document this moment in history, but before he can she's gone. His lips move against open air, and he frowns, eyes shooting back open again, and looks up at her.

Lily is on her feet, a contemplative look on her face. He tries his best not to frown, but is sure he fails, and meets her gaze again. In lieu of speaking, she offers him her hand. He takes it unthinkingly, unprepared for the surge of electricity that graces his fingers and races up his arm, and shivers lightly. Lily notices, he's sure, but he gets up quickly.

Once on his feet, neither of them let go, and James muses he'll never get used to the sparks she ignites within him, even if they ever actually date. Her eyes roam his face, and meanwhile his heart kicks into overdrive, and he's so sure he can hear it he blurts the first thing he can think of to cover it up. "I'm really confused."

Lily blinks, attempting to jerk her hand away, but James holds on to it stubbornly. She opens her mouth, but he beats her to it.

"That's okay. I think you are, too. If you need more time, Lily, I understand."

He waits for her to speak, but apparently he's rendered her speechless. He takes a moment to reflect on the absurdity of this moment, and the fact that he would've never let her forget it a year ago, before simply smiling. He tugs on her hand then walks with her down the corridor. She follows, and he swears she squeezes his hand.

Unfortunately, both James and Lily forgot Sirius and Mary were so close. In fact, they're arguing at the top of their voices directly in front of the portrait hole. Sirius snaps his neck to look, and Mary with him. There's a beat of nothing – no one moves, no one breathes – and then James drops Lily's hand quicker than he let go of a quaffle to score.

"Fucking hell!" Sirius shouts, throwing his hands up.

"Sirius!" Mary reprimands, hitting him on the arm.

Sirius pushes past her. "Prongs, now is _not _the time!"

James takes three big steps forward. "Padfoot, what the _bloody hell _are you talking about?"

"Evans! Prongs, you know as well as I do—"

"Shut _up!"_

"Prongs—"

"I said _shut the hell up, _Sirius!"

"Prongs, listen, I'm trying to help you—"

"Clearly, because you helped Regulus so well!"

Sirius' spine stiffens and all the anger returns tenfold to his face. "You know as well as I do she's never going to—"

"Regulus is gone, Sirius, he's gone and he's never coming back—"

"She'll never feel that way about you! She's not good enough—"

"He's a bloody Death Eater, Sirius, now you really are all alone—"

Mary interferes suddenly, shouting the password over their continued insulting and secret betraying, dragging them through the portrait hole by their forearms. She hauls them up the stairs, waving at the residents of the Gryffindor Common Room and shouting apologies, and out of view. There's a bang, Mary's probably cast a spell, two loud _oofs_, then a shouted _"Colloportus!" _and_ "Silencio!"_

Mary comes down the stairs again, smoothing her hair, and sits next to Remus and turns to Emme. "How's your Potions essay going?"

Emme stutters, then manages to respond. "Oh, well, Mary, how's yours going?"

Lily comes into the Common Room and stands next to Emme, muttering into her ear, her face pink. Emme stands up, exclaiming "oh!" and she and Lily smack heads. Lily rubs her head and mutters something else, and the two race up the Girls' Staircase.

Mary, Remus, and Peter are left on the couch. Mary reclines, fanning herself, Peter looks sort of frightened, eyes darting between the two staircases, and Remus rubs his face with a hand.

"What just happened?" questions Peter nervously.

"Love is like War, easy to begin, but very hard to stop." responds Remus sagely.

"And Sirius fancies stopping both," chimes in Mary.

Peter shakes his head, understanding, and reclines like Mary. "Bloody idiots."

Remus and Mary nod in agreement. "The next few days should be interesting."


End file.
